


Winters

by morningmikan



Series: the long seasons [1]
Category: JUDGE EYES: 死神の遺言 | Judgment, 龍が如く | Ryuu ga Gotoku | Yakuza (Video Games)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, M/M, angst with an uncertain but happy ending, very minor cameos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:33:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22686292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morningmikan/pseuds/morningmikan
Summary: Higashi's history is entangled with two men: Kaito Masaharu and Yagami Takayuki.He makes his choices, and the path he follows is a series of inevitabilities.
Relationships: Higashi Toru/Kaito Masaharu, Higashi Toru/Kaito Masaharu/Yagami Takayuki, Higashi Toru/Yagami Takayuki, Kaito Masaharu/Yagami Takayuki
Series: the long seasons [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1641178
Comments: 20
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

#### January 21, 2019

Higashi was exhausted.

As the only one not currently suffering from a bullet wound (Sugiura, fresh; Kaito, old but disobeying doctor’s orders) or a serious concussion (Yagami, delirious enough to paw at Higashi’s face), it fell to him to wrangle everything the moment the ambulances came to the ADDC. He dodged police questioning with aggressive silence, managed to check in two out of three of his erstwhile brothers-in-arms despite protests from one of them (the other was distinctly unconscious), and left one too many voice messages for the actual lawyers he knew that were still probably at Ayabe’s trial.

A weaselly-looking tabloid reporter tried to take photos of the emergency room from his vantage point by reception - Higashi threw a tape dispenser at him and took grim satisfaction at the sharp crack of impact before an officer escorted the guy off premises. He himself refused treatment from the emergency nurses, but one shoved bandages into his hand as he left to wait for the results of Sugiura’s surgery; he made a note to send a gift to them later, when he didn’t feel like a walking corpse.

“Good news, they’re just gonna keep Ta-bo overnight for observation, so he’ll be out by morning. He’s sleepin’ like a baby right now.”

Higashi looked up as Kaito dropped into the seat beside him in the waiting area, freshly bandaged and smelling of ointment. He leaned in to eavesdrop on what Higashi hoped was his final call for the night, instructing Kengo to put an info blackout to the remaining Matsugane men.

“Kid’s learned his lesson, huh?” murmured Kaito once Higashi hung up.

Higashi grunted.

“Hamura filled his head with a lotta shit, and he’s finally seen it all fall apart. He’ll behave.”

“Look at you, you’ve got all the boys in line now. Kinda proud of ya.”

Kaito laughed and Higashi stole a look at him, and wished he hadn’t - Kaito’s face was bruised and badly cut up and one eye was swelling shut, but his expression was fond and warm. He felt his ears start to heat and feel it travel to his face; he looked down at his phone quickly, praying Kaito wouldn’t say anything.

“It’s only temporary. Someone further up in the clan’s gotta swing around and figure out what to do with us since oyaji passed and Hamura is probably behind bars for good.”

“You don’t wanna push for captain?”

Higashi snapped his head up.

“ _What_ -”

“Don’t give me that look, I mean it. You kept the guys together and have them carrying out business as usual. Pretty impressive considering all the shit that’s gone down.”

“Please don’t make shit up just to make me feel better.”

“Wow, you really aren’t cute anymore, huh.”

The jibe was said with humour, but it made Higashi tense on instinct, teeth gritting and knuckles going white around his phone. A hiss escaped between his teeth unbidden, and he opened his mouth to give some kind of spiny retort to cover for it when he felt Kaito’s heavy hand touch the back of his head, fingers sinking into his hair. He froze, pulse thrumming at his temples, eyes locked onto the black screen of his phone.

“Sorry. You’re gonna be okay, I’m sure of it,” Kaito said, soft and low.

Something in Higashi’s chest twisted. They were close enough that he could trace the details of each tear and dried blood spatter on Kaito’s loud shirt, smell his sweat and the cigarettes he chainsmoked out in the hospital parking lot. Nine years of want sat heavy in his lungs, and Higashi recklessly wondered what would happen if he just pressed his face into Kaito’s neck and breathed him in to fill them.

He ducked his head politely.

“... thank you.”

Higashi felt Kaito watch him, a pause that went slightly too long. He raised his head without looking at him, and felt Kaito’s hand slip from his hair to the back of his neck, squeezing just once before it settled on the back of his seat. The touch was nostalgic, such a common thing that Kaito did when it was just the two of them, patrolling between family businesses into twilight hours. Higashi could feel the warmth radiating from Kaito’s arm and felt a lump form in his throat - but he didn’t move, and let the moment pass.

They fell into an uneasy sleep in their chairs until woken by Mafuyu and Hoshino in the evening, and all four waited late into the night until the operating surgeon finally appeared to deliver good news and gently encourage them to go home. Higashi felt a wave of gratitude as both lawyers actually listened to him as he handed off everything they needed to know for Sugiura and Yagami, and had an uncharacteristic urge to sweep Mafuyu up and kiss her for having ordered a taxi without him needing to ask.

“Thank you for taking care of things, Higashi-san,” she whispered as Kaito ran ahead to flag down the waiting cab. “Genda-sensei covered the fare, please don’t be afraid to take the cab all the way home.”

He nodded his thanks and climbed in the car after Kaito, and finally let the waves exhaustion overtake his body as he sunk into the seat. The last thing he remembers is watching the snow start to drift past the window and the sensation of Kaito’s hand warming the back of his neck.

###### 

#### February 6, 2011

Higashi wove around the fists reaching for him, striking with a hard uppercut once he found an opening and downed the asshole who tried to stick a knife in him just minutes before. He pivoted, cutting between two shouting men whose running momentum fell past him, and he landed one, two, three sharp kicks in succession against the back of the one on the left as Kaito tackled the other to the ground, sending ice and snow and grit spraying into the air.

“Pipe!” shouted Kaito and Higashi dropped to all fours on instinct, the breeze of a steel pipe sailing above his head and stirring his hair. He braced his weight on one hand as he twisted and extended a leg out blind in a sweeping kick, catching the inside of a knee and sending the heavy with the pipe buckling to the ground low enough that Higashi’s other leg could follow and the toe of his shoe could strike him squarely in the ear.

“Now that’s _it, that’s_ what I like to _see_!” roared Kaito into the night sky, sending electricity crackling along Higashi’s skin as he pushed off his numbing hands onto his feet and spun on his heel to deliver a reverse elbow strike into the neck of the last uninjured triad member coming in behind him. He turned in time to see Kaito bodily pick up the man he tackled and _throw him_ into the doorway to the mahjong parlor, knocking two backups off their feet and bouncing their heads against the parquet flooring.

Kaito hunched low from the exertion of the throw, hands clenching and unclenching, teeth streaked red and blood dripping heavily from the gouge at his eyebrow. His eyes were bright and ferocious, and Higashi could feel that familiar heat blossom low in his abdomen, drinking in the sight of Kaito’s tensing muscles and the sound of his heavy panting.

“ _Aniki_ ,” yelled Higashi, and without waiting for a response he ran forward and jumped off Kaito’s back in a flying leap at the man who stepped out from behind his hiding spot with a gun. Higashi briefly felt Kaito’s body brace for his weight as his foot pushed off, and then his knee struck the chin of the gunman like lightning, teeth cracking together and falling backwards into the snow. Higashi managed to land on his feet, using the momentum to take a bouncing sidestep and kick away the gun into a gutter.

The alley was quiet, save for groans of pain, but Higashi fell into a ready stance. The adrenaline still raced through his blood, his body vibrating with anticipation for another punch another kick another moment of Kaito bellowing power and fury that filled his lungs with courage and thunder. Higashi gulped down freezing air that drove ice into his throat, and he was _alive_.

“You, you fuckin’ magnificent … come _here_.”

Higashi felt Kaito sling a heavy arm around him, clapping a large hand to the back of his neck and squeezing, and Higashi couldn’t care less that Kaito was pressing someone else’s blood onto his skin, he never wanted him to let go. Without thinking he turned his head so he was just a breath away from Kaito’s face, his reckless heart beating so loud and fast in his ears.

“Didn’t know ya had it in you,” panted Kaito, his breath misting in the cold air and Higashi inhaling it from how close they were. “Fuckin’ put on a _show_.”

A part of Higashi’s brain catalogued his injuries - the sore ribs, the raw knuckles, the slashes in his leg, the artist palette of bruises - but he would gladly be scraped down to bone and tissue if he could have the balm of Kaito’s praise again and again. He grinned dizzily, feeling the cuts on his lips sting sharp.

“Feels like I can do anything when I’m with you.”

Kaito’s laugh was deep enough to reverberate into Higashi’s chest, and he yelped in surprise when Kaito grabbed the back of his head and pressed their foreheads together. Blood and sweat stuck their skin together, and Higashi stilled when Kaito looked right into him, moonlight caught in his eyes.

“Then stick with me, yeah? I’ll take care of ya, and we’ll tear up everything in our way.”

Whether his legs shook from the adrenaline leaching from his system or from being close enough to Kaito to kiss him, Higashi couldn’t tell - and at that moment, couldn’t care. For all that they did not exchange cups with each other, Kaito’s promise in a snowy alley behind a rundown mahjong parlor meant more than the new pin on his lapel.

###### 

#### January 26, 2019

For what it was worth, Kaito was partially right.

The remaining Matsugane family organised itself enough to keep ahold of its businesses, but it was a tenuous grip - other subsidiary families smelled blood in the water, and there were regular spats Higashi had to break up. Kengo and his gang still had fire in their blood to defend the last pieces of what the late patriarch built, and Higashi left them to it as long as they had enough foresight to take care of it in the back alleys and not start anything they couldn’t finish.

The newest headache for Higashi was finally dealing with the Keihin gang, some upstart group that was causing trouble for multiple Tojo families in Kamurocho. Upper ranks didn’t find them to be worth thinking about, but what Higashi didn’t expect was _fucking arms dealing_ and _fucking Yagami_ being involved the moment he was discharged, which once finally reported up, a clan lieutenant dropped in at Charles unnannounced.

It was Higashi’s worse luck that it was _Majima Goro_.

Majima was, at least, a fraction less intimidating with his skinny frame hunched over an off-brand Virtua Fighter ripoff game, but Higashi noted how he still wore that snakeskin jacket with no shirt in the dead of winter. Majima’s own men looked slightly nervous to be in a room with such low ceilings and narrow footspace.

“Sixth Chairman wanted to send his regards ‘bout how ya took care of business at the ADDC,” Majima said without looking up.

“We wanted to pay back what they did to our family, so we’re glad of it,” Higashi said carefully.

“By ‘we’ ya mean yourself, your expelled aniki, and two civilians - not these dumbfucks in your family runnin’ around hittin’ themselves with their own fists and nearly startin’ a war with a clan we’ve never had problems with,” grunted Majima as his character took a hit and KOed out of the match.

Higashi nearly jumped when Majima spun abruptly around his seat and threw up his hands in delight, his expression bright and animated.

“Those civilian pretty boys can fight though! You ‘n’ them ‘n’ thirty armed cops and a _psycho killer_ in the middle of a thunderstorm! Kickin’ off walls and doin’ kung-fu on a guy who fuckin’ climbed back up from gettin’ kicked outta broken tenth floor window! Shit! I’m jealous! I’d kick ya out of the clan just for not invitin’ me, but that security footage is gonna keep me goin’ for a _month_.”

Majima cackled and slapped his knee, and Higashi felt his own sweat drip down his neck.

“That said, y’ain’t got much of a family right now and ya better be glad a few other families ‘round here are guilty of not pullin’ their weight enough to take care of some outside arms dealin’. Took yer handsome _lawyer_ friend to handle them, and he ain’t even take them to court. Can’t have that now, can we?”

“No, sir.”

Majima stared him down.

“There ain’t nobody left up top for ya Matsugane boys ‘cept you. Ya wanna be the new actin’ Patriarch, Hicchan?”

Higashi swallowed before bowing low.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have the right to a claim. I will take responsibility for all our mistakes as one of the last senior members, but I will not pretend that I am worthy to lead the family.”

A silence held the room, the idle noises of active machines humming in the background. Majima leaned close from his seat and murmured in Higashi’s ear, causing the hair on the back of his neck to stand.

“ _Responsibility_ might mean a whole finger or two, don’tcha know. Big words when ya can just let Hamura catch a shiv in jail and wash your hands of it. Y’aint playin’ the game right.”

Higashi squeezed his eyes shut before opening them, forcing his breathing to be even.

“That’s true, but the family’s basically done already and having the captain dead doesn’t change much for us right now. The last guys need time to mourn our patriarch and then join other families. I’m going to make sure they can have a clean transition, whatever that means for me.”

A peal of shrieking laughter broke the silence, and Higashi yelped as he was shaken at the shoulders by a grinning Majima.

“Look at ya, all humble and noble and fulla poetry! Cracks my shit up, guys like you, can never get enough of ya.”

Majima grabbed Higashi’s chin to look levelly at him, and moved his glasses to the top of his head. He cupped Higashi’s cheeks and smiled like a knife as Higashi squinted blearily at him.

“Hmm, thought you’d be cuter. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna take any of those pretty little fingers today, and your boys got an open invitation to join up with mine.”

He patted Higashi on the cheek and let him go, and Higashi reeled from both embarrassment and overwhelming relief. He had heard about Majima Goro and how engaging him was like spinning a roulette wheel where the choices were either confusion or stabbings, and somehow Kannon let him land on the former. He wasn’t much comforted.

“Hey, ya dumbasses over there -” Majima called out, pointing at Kengo and a few other men, all who immediately bowed in half. “Let the other kids know they can call my office and ask for anyone under Nishida, and they’ll get ya sorted with paperwork and induction and shit. But _you_ -” Majima slung his arm around Higashi’s shoulders and whispered in his ear.

“ _You_ can ask for me direct.”

The glass doors clicked open and both of them swung round to see _fucking Yagami_ staring at the scene, eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline, a paper gift bag in his hand. He had deigned to finally swap his white t-shirt for a grey turtleneck under his leather jacket, and his wavy hair was lightly dusted with snow. Yagami looked like a drama idol with his cheeks flush with cold, turning up on his lover’s doorstep instead of a grimy underground arcade. Higashi dizzily wondered how a person could be so _deeply_ annoying and the most compelling thing in the room.

“I, uh, I can come back later - “ Yagami started.

“Hicchan, is that him? The lawyer boy?” hissed Majima.

“I’m thirty-five?” said Yagami before Majima advanced like a viper, pinning him against the wall. Yagami smiled serenely, and Higashi hated him just a little for it.

“Majima Goro, Lieutenant Advisor to the Sixth Tojo Chairman, right?”

“Ya do yer research, eh?”

Yagami shrugged easily, and to Higashi’s horror, kept his eyes at half-mast and lips quirked just so while looking directly at Majima.

“I try to pay attention. To what do I owe the honour?”

“Heard ya were handy in a fight, Yagami-sensei,” said Majima, deep and low. “Watched ya slam around the Mole real good in that security footage - wanted to have a taste for myself how good ya were.”

“I’m afraid I’m indisposed until the retrial for Okubo Shinpei is completed. But you can give my office a call, and I’m sure we can arrange something for a fee.”

Yagami pulled out a business card from his jacket’s inner pocket, and instead of presenting it correctly, he tapped it gently against Majima’s bare sternum. Higashi could hear Majima’s men suck in a breath to berate him, but the frisson of energy dancing between the two men kept the surrounding room silent.

“Matsugane invested in ya law degree but not ya manners, hmm?”

“I promise you that I show the utmost respect and quality of service to all of my clients.”

Majima took Yagami’s card and stepped away, breaking the tension by throwing his head back, hand coy on his cheek, tittering wildly.

“ _Nihihihi!!_ All ya young guys these days are shameless, gonna make an old man have a heart attack out here,” grinned Majima as he spun the card between his gloved fingers. “Boys! Let’s go!”

Majima saluted a goodbye with the card as he walked down the hall and out of sight up the stairs, his men scrambling behind him.

Yagami kept up his beatific expression until the footsteps died away, and let the facade drop as he slumped against the wall.

“Holy shit,” he wheezed.

“You’re fucking crazy,” said Higashi.

“Sometimes you just gotta take a gamble and pray it pays off.”

Yagami held up the gift bag and gently shook it.

“Birthday for Sugiura at the hospital. You’re invited, so’s Kaito. I have enough fancy fruit tarts for everyone, and you have to come or else Sugiura says he’ll post rude things about my agency.”

“Sounds like a personal problem.”

“Exactly, and now I’m gonna make it your problem too. Get your coat, it’s snowing.”

Higashi grumbled and gestured an all clear to Kengo and the men who were all gaping, and had them order a taxi as he followed Yagami out of Charles.

“You really gonna let him call on you?”

Yagami stopped on the steps to the street level and turned around to face Higashi.

“If you’re asking if I’ll let him fight me on the street like he did Kiryu Kazuma, the answer is no, I’m not _that_ crazy. If you’re asking if I’ll let him fuck me for money, then I think you really gotta take a break from this town so you can recalibrate how to read people.”

Higashi scowled as he stepped past Yagami onto the street and fumbled for his cigarettes and a lighter, refusing to make eye contact.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?”

Higashi lit his cigarette and inhaled, breathing out smoke slowly.

“I mean, do you wanna get involved with Tojo shit again? There’s enough sad fuckin’ stories about that, and you already have one. Don’t invite it back - next time you might not make it out, and that’d be a waste of you.”

He barely heard Yagami’s soft “ _oh_ ”, and he frowned at himself. Was he too harsh too soon?

He tapped the box and extended the cigarettes to the detective, a peace offering. Yagami silently took one and placed it between his lips, and before Higashi could offer the lighter, he grabbed Higashi’s other hand and pressed the lit cigarette tip to his own, his eyes only lifting to Higashi’s face once the embers caught.

Higashi was pinned in place, evading those searching eyes only by hiding behind his sunglasses. His breath caught in his throat when Yagami’s hand slipped lower and his thumb started to gently rub the inside of Higashi’s wrist, a point of warmth on the bare skin exposed to the chill. They were so close - he could see the tired lines around Yagami’s eyes, the way his lips soundlessly made the shape of Higashi’s name.

He wanted to rip his hand away and punch him, he wanted to kiss him, he wanted to lie in the snow to be buried and forgotten.

The long ash dropping from Higashi’s cigarette and hitting both their hands broke the spell, both of them clumsily flapping their hands and cursing. They scraped snow from a nearby railing and clapped it to their knuckles for relief, two idiots without gloves clutching at their own hands in the cold. The taxi honked its arrival, and both of them piled in, Yagami cheerily greeting the driver and directing him to the hospital as the moment slipped away like the street behind them.

The driver recognised Yagami from the news and the two chatted amiably, with Yagami fishing out a business card and presenting it to him like normal. Higashi half-listened to them talking about missing cats and forgotten pop idols, feeling the warming tingle in his numb hands and watching the snowflakes melt into Yagami’s hair.

###### 

#### December 12, 2013

“I’m back!” called Yagami as he sauntered into the Matsugane office holding a large gift box.

“You can’t say that when this isn’t your house,” grumbled Higashi as he looked up from the newspaper, annoyed that he has to receive Yagami alone. “Oyasan isn’t in and neither is Kaito, get lost.”

Yagami made a childish pout at him before grinning, his smile reaching his eyes and crinkling the edges, handsome like a matinee idol. Higashi looked back at his newspaper, his ears starting to burn. He reminded himself that this was Matsugane’s erstwhile son and therefore the option of punching in his teeth wasn’t in the cards - even Kaito would have something to say about that, and all he could do was just grind his own teeth as he tried to keep a lid on both his irritation and childish jealousy.

“Nice to see you too, Higashi-san. C’mon, help me set this up.”

Higashi didn’t move, just watching with suspicion as Yagami set the box on the nearest desk and began to take it apart, tossing packing plastic aside and lifting up the contents to reveal ... a very normal black coffee machine.

“What the hell?”

“Oyasan said he likes drinking coffee these days, so I thought I’d get him a gift from my first paycheque as thanks,” said Yagami cheerily as he started to evict a box of documents and a decorative plate from a small shelf.

“ _Hey, don’t touch shit you got no place messing with -_ ”

Yagami waved him off and started pulling the shelf closer to an outlet. “Don’t act like any of it’s actually organised, you’ve only gotten through the earliest files by now and this stuff is at least -” he squinted at the label on the document box “- from six years ago. Yeesh.”

Higashi sighed, annoyed but slightly pleased that Yagami remembered. The young lawyer was an irritant and an interloper more often than not, but his memory for the minutiae of anyone’s life was remarkable; Kaito couldn’t even remember the assignments he gave Higashi at times, and it was ... _nice_ to have someone simply notice the work he was doing. Even if it came from _fucking Yagami_ and his overblown sense of genius.

“Look, don’t plug it in that one, you’ll blow out the circuit. Use the one over by the bookshelf.”

They managed to set up the shelf and place the machine on top, Higashi squinting at the instructions through his expired prescription glasses and Yagami just pressing at buttons experimentally, listening with satisfaction to their clicks.

“Quit that. It says we should run a cleaning cycle first. Go get the kettle, it’s got some hot water still.”

“You got it, Higashi-no-aniki.”

“ _We’re the same age._ ”

Yagami’s laugh carried through the small office, and they managed to run a cycle twice before Yagami presented a bag of ground coffee in front of him with a sly look, eyelashes lowered and lips pouted like one of those absurd advertisements hanging in Kamuro Hills. It made Higashi’s heart skip slightly, and he hated himself for being such an easy mark to tease.

“Y’know, we should probably test out the coffee in it, can’t be giving the boss rancid drinks, right?”

“Just put it in the damn machine. I’ll get some cups.”

It was _good_. Higashi generally didn’t expect much from such machines - whether Yagami spent good money on a solid machine or bought fancy coffee he couldn’t say, but it was soothing to drink in a slightly too-cold office where the only space heater was on the opposite end of the room.

After a time, Yagami asked: “Hey, so ... who’s the pretty girl you’ve been with recently? Seen her with you outside Emerald Hills.”

“How -”

“The club’s on the same block as Genda’s Law Office. I was taking a break when I saw you two go by from the window.”

Higashi very seriously considered lying - to say that he was seeing her, to have a new ready alibi - but Yagami was looking at him guilelessly, his perfectly styled hair and sleek charcoal suit giving the aura of the eminently trustworthy young lawyer, fresh-faced and professional. The only tell of his capricious nature was in the quirk at the corner of his mouth, implying some kind of promise that made Higashi’s pulse beat just a little faster.

“My half-sister. She needs money to support herself while she studies, so I got her a hostess job there. She speaks Korean fluently, so tourist money is an easy get for her.”

“Bilingual, huh? That’s really handy, damn. She’ll do real well.”

“That’s the hope. She can’t rely on her parents, so.”

Higashi let that sit in the air and Yagami made a thoughtful noise, drinking from his coffee while his eyes never left Higashi’s face. Higashi looked away, pretending to check his phone.

“One day I’m gonna solve the mystery that’s you, Higashi-san.”

“Eh?”

A delighted yell from the door heralded Kaito and Matsugane’s entrance with a couple other family men trailing in after, creating an energetic chatter that filled the office. Yagami presented the machine to Matsugane with a flourish, and the old man admired it while chiding him for clearly taking the first taste without him. Matsugane listened dutifully to Yagami explain how to use the machine, the young lawyer pointing to diagrams in the manual that Higashi had to show Yagami not thirty minutes before, the venerable patriarch clearly not comprehending any of it.

Higashi let himself fade to the background, slightly left footed from the scene of paternal domesticity in a yakuza office, and caught Kaito’s eye - he had taken a seat at his desk and pulled out a comic book, paying the noise no mind. Kaito shook his head in their direction and winked at Higashi before he indicated to the seat beside him.

“Don’t worry so much about Ta-bo. I know he grates on ya, but he ain’t going nowhere,” Kaito said quietly. “Just let ‘em fuss with each other and it’ll get back to normal soon.”

Kaito flipped to his marked page and happily started to ignore everyone as Higashi took the offered chair, still feeling strange but much less alone.

###### 

#### February 1, 2019

He kicked off the snow clinging to his boots once he was inside of Yagami’s building, grumbling at himself for choosing style over warmth as the melting snow sank into the leather. The packet of documents from Majima Construction was spared the worst of the weather inside his leather valise, and he dreaded thinking about how he was going to dry out both that and his boots once he finished the drop and finally got home.

The lobby was eerily quiet, the heavy snow outside absorbing the noise carrying over from the few people braving the weather on Nakamichi Street - the alley itself was even empty of smokers. The trains would stop soon and the weather was incomprehensibly cold; Kamurocho was uncharacteristically quiet and Higashi felt very alone.

The door to the office was slightly ajar, spilling a strip of yellow light across the landing and down the steps, and as he opened his mouth to chastise Yagami for letting the heat out, he froze.

Telltale soft moans came from the office, and Higashi could see Yagami sat in the office armchair with Kaito’s head in his lap, Kaito’s shirt pulled open and askew across his broad shoulders. An obscene wet pop, and Kaito bit and kissed his way up Yagami’s bare chest, leaving dark marks that Higashi could see from the door. Yagami’s legs wrapped around Kaito’s waist as he pulled him into a kiss, a thin sheen of sweat along Kaito’s muscles that caught gold in the light, glimmering against his flushed skin.

Higashi bit down on his tongue, trying to shock himself to move, to leave them to it, to ignore the heat pulling at his hardening cock and evade the clawing jealousy that he couldn’t tell at whom it was aimed at.

When Kaito moved from Yagami’s mouth to bite at his jaw, Yagami opened his eyes and caught Higashi’s gaze through the crack in the door. He smiled like a cat, and beckoned.

Higashi sidestepped in a panic, nearly knocking into the corner of Yagami’s mailbox, and panted heavily against the wall. His mind crackled in static: Kaito’s mouth on Yagami, Yagami’s legs pulling Kaito in tighter, the lazy way those fingers curled in invitation as the heat in Yagami’s eyes seared through Higashi’s entire body. He was sick with desire and sick of his cowardice.

He unzipped the valise and discreetly dropped the packet into the mailbox. Ignoring the breathless voices from inside the office, he reached over to slowly and silently pull shut the office door, only letting the handle go once he heard the latch softly click in place. His legs walked him down the steps and stood outside, the snap of cold both waking him up from his haze and chastising his hard-on into retreat.

“ _Fuck_.”

He rubbed at his eyes and breathed slowly, trying to settle his nerves, and found only his jaw aching from the cold and his heart in a vise. _I could have said yes_ , he thought, but he had already said _yes_ to so many things these past weeks involving them that ended with him miserable and beaten and heartbroken.

He went north up the alley to head to the station, and only turned the corner before he heard heavy footsteps behind him. His hand immediately went behind his coat for his tanto as he spun around, only to sigh when he sees Kaito kicking through the snow towards him. Credit where due, he managed to look presentable and not like he was blowing his employer just ten minutes ago.

“Higashi, slow the fuck down,” wheezed Kaito as he stomped his way over.

“Aniki, you should cut back on the smokes if you get like this so quickly.”

“Shut up, the snow’s real high and hard to get through.”

Higashi turned to leave, but a heavy hand grabbed his wrist and spun him around. He could still see the flush of sex on Kaito’s face and neck, hair mussed at his temples.

“We didn’t know about the door,” Kaito panted. “Get outta this cold and come inside already, let’s talk -”

“The documents Yagami wanted are in the mailbox. My job’s done, I’m going home.”

“Ta-bo rushed it, it was a bad gamble, he’s sorry -”

“Rushed _what_ ,” he asked, his voice strained and high and far too soft.

Higashi wanted to be angry about Yagami being at the center of his web of irritations once again, he wanted to summon from his deep well of annoyance and snap this conversation shut ... but the freezing air sapped his energy and all he could feel was the wet soaking through the thin leather of his boots. He had nothing.

Kaito let go of him, and he wondered if that was the end of it, only to feel Kaito’s large hand curl around the nape of his neck and pull him forward, pressing their foreheads together, the top of his glasses knocking against the bridge of Kaito’s nose. Higashi closed his eyes when he felt that familiar squeeze, feeling his trembling breath mist together with Kaito’s, blood thrumming in his ears as he dropped the valise and gripped Kaito’s forearm.

“Higashi, look at me.”

He should have pushed him away. He should have done a lot of things.

Higashi opened his eyes and met Kaito’s gaze, throat tightening and the beat in his ears deafening. White snow reflected light into Kaito’s eyes, and Higashi was in his twenties again: body humming from the rush of violence, pressed against his aniki in the back lot of a sleazy mahjong parlour, hungry to feel more of Kaito’s skin and terrified of his pledge to the path that owned them both.

“Aniki …”

“I told you before, you don’t have to call me that anymore,” Kaito said, voice too soft, eyes too gentle.

Kaito’s other hand came to Higashi’s face and brushed his cheek, moving to lift the snow-wet glasses off his face and set it on the top of his head. He felt a hot breath, then a soft kiss to his brow, the side of his nose, his cheek, the corner of his mouth. Higashi’s hands shook as they moved to Kaito’s chest, fisting the down jacket into his hands. Those four bullets to his resolve cracked him open, and his chest ached as the embers sitting at the bottom of his heart set his body alight.

“Come with me,” Kaito whispered.

Higashi pressed his forehead against Kaito’s once more.

“No.”

“Why?”

He screwed his eyes shut, teeth gritted. Pressed against Kaito's broadness, he felt so, so small: pulled in inexorably by Kaito’s gravity, he could feel their path of collision in his bones, a catastrophe mapped by his weak heart

“I want …” - _you, it’s always been you_ \- “I want to be something without needing you.”

“Higashi,” started Kaito reproachfully.

“ _Listen_ ,” he hissed, high and desperate, knuckles going white against Kaito’s jacket, eyes never lifting past his collar. “Every success and every misery I’ve had as yakuza has been because of _you_ , you and Yagami and how you don’t know how to _stop_ , and I can’t let that be the story of my life.

“You said it yourself: I shouldn’t even call you _aniki_ anymore. But I do. Because even though it’s not the right way to do this, I can’t … I’m …”

He sucked in a shaky breath.

“I have to let go of you if I want to correct it. I need to do this on my own.”

Kaito seized his chin and lifted his head, his expression angry.

“What makes you think all the shit you’ve done wasn’t by your own choices?”

Kaito’s face swam in front of Higashi’s eyes.

“ _This_ ,” he said, rushing up against Kaito’s mouth with a hard, hungry kiss.

Kaito broke it to take a surprised breath, and Higashi pushed forward again, hands at Kaito’s collar to pull him back in, sealing their mouths together. He was dizzy with it, relishing the acrid taste of cigarettes and Yagami’s come lingering on Kaito’s tongue, greedy for anything he could take and swallow. Kaito groaned low, his large hands moving to seize Higashi’s waist and fist in his coat, his tongue moving into Higashi’s mouth, tilting for a better angle -

Higashi pulled away wet and panting, a small string of saliva connecting their mouths before snapping, leaving Kaito’s lower lip shining. He wanted to lick it away, taste Kaito in his mouth again - nine years of buried fantasies and desire burned in him, and he would have been glad to let Kaito open his ribs to the sky, anything to relieve the pain in his chest and feel his hands again. 

Instead he stepped back to pick up the soaked valise, hands shaking. He took off his sunglasses, now uselessly wet, and tucked them inside his pocket as he started to walk.

“Higashi.”

If he could rip the embers out of his chest, throw them into the snow to smoulder and hiss out into nothing, he would have. Everything would be easier if they could break apart under pedestrian feet in this dirty city, freeing him from being drawn into Kaito’s orbit again and again and losing control over what he built himself into since the expulsion.

Higashi looked back, and he was far enough to see Kaito’s face clearly.

He breathed out: _I love you, and it’s a disaster_.

Wet boots crunching on the fresh snow, Higashi walked to the station and Kaito didn’t follow.

###### 

#### December 4, 2017

Hamura slammed his face into the briefcase, and when he lifted Higashi’s head the blood dripped and pooled into the greaves. His glasses were long since knocked to the floor, eyes unable to focus on anything close-up but the immediate shape of his own blood travelling to the edge of the case.

“How many times I gotta tell ya, we don’t look the other way when a business owes us dues,” Hamura snarled.

Higashi coughed wetly. “I’m sorry sir. They have no girls - their top hostess got poached by another club and the rest were busted for working on student visas. They’re deported. The club has nothing to sell and nothing for us to collect.”

“That’s when you collect from _the owner_ , follow his ass right to the bank, not come back here empty-handed, you fucking soft-dicked little bitch. You play by _my_ rulebook, not Kaito’s bleeding heart shit.”

He kicked Higashi in the abdomen and again into a desk, letting his jaw crack against the surface and leaving him collapsed on the floor. Higashi convulsed and wheezed, breath rattling in his lungs and bile rising in his throat.

“Yuna, the top girl - where’d she go off to?”

“I - _hnk_ \- I don’t know.”

Another savage kick. Higashi gurgled blood.

“Try again.”

“Queen Rouge. Saejima family joint,” Higashi wheezed out. He braced for another kick.

“Captain … Saejima family’s known for keeping a tight reign on the girls at their clubs,” murmured Ozaki cautiously. “We’ll catch shit from them if we try to bring her back.”

Hamura seemed slightly mollified, and settled heavily into a chair. He took out a cigarette and let Ozaki bend down to light it, then leaned back to toe at Higashi’s body. A weak noise escaped Higashi’s lips, and he immediately clamped his teeth together to bite off anything else.

It was pathetic, to slide back to being a whimpering mess in front of Hamura again; he couldn’t tell if the nausea was from the pain or his own disgust.

“Still a cute little puppy crying for his mother, aren’t you? Or rather, crying for his big strong aniki to come back and hold him in his arms and kiss it all better, hm? What a sad end for our cute heroine’s story.”

Hamura raised his foot for a vicious stomp, and Higashi squeezed his eyes shut.

Only the captain’s smoked, rasping laughter came, rolling down Higashi’s spine and freezing his blood. The laughter stayed in his ears as he was finally released with a deadline and a warning, stumbling out onto the street and leaning against a street lamp for support.

It was hard, so hard, to not want to step out into traffic and let some delivery truck finish him off and be done with it. But he was yakuza, he was built to suffer and punish in equal measures, and so he just buttoned his shirt against the cold and called his sister.

“ _Hi hi, this is Yuna! I’m sorry I’m away from my phone, but please leave a message and I’ll call right back when I can, okay? I look forward to it!_ ” trilled the voicemail recording, and even with his nose broken and his cheekbone certainly fractured, Higashi couldn’t help but smile at how obscenely out of character Yuna’s hostess voice was.

“혜연아, 오빠다,” he said softly, pulling up his jacket collar against the wind and to muffle his voice. “퀸루지에 가서 다행이야. 열심히 일하고 나를 전화해줘. 끊어.”

He didn’t bother wiping the blood off the briefcase and let the sight of it clear people from his path down Shichifuku towards Emerald Hills.

###### 

#### February 15, 2019

Higashi watched the giant Theatre Square screen broadcast another politician’s public apology about the ADDC debacle from inside the cafe, sneering into his coffee as another indistinguishable old man bowed his head in false contrition. He pondered buying a slice of cake when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

The files are reviewed - let Majima know that:  
1) yeah he’s got a rat  
2) no it’s not necessary to dress up and lure the guy out  
3) I realise I can’t stop him but can he just not do it in front of my building again,  
the stains are still there from last time  


The ellipses animation popped up and another message pinged through.

You can pick up the notarised items anytime today, it’s too cold to go out.

He blinked as the ellipses appeared again, and seemed to stop and restart erratically for some time, until finally:

I’d really like to see you.

Higashi stared at his phone. He hadn’t spoken to either Yagami or Kaito about anything other than the open case for Majima Construction since _that_ night, and felt his face heat each time he remembered (constantly, obsessively) Yagami’s fingers beckoning for him or how Kaito tasted after years of wanting. He’d gone home that night and wrung himself out dry under the hot shower, and hadn’t slept properly since - it was frankly astonishing, the myriad ways his body could betray him.

He wondered if he could also plead the weather, but unlike Yagami, his boss was a terror, and he grudgingly sent a reply.

I’m in the area. I’ll pick up the documents in fifteen minutes.

He didn’t wait for a response and left the cafe, picking his way carefully between slush pools and shoveled snow piles towards Nakamichi Street. The sun was out but weak, and the black ice patches dotting both street and sidewalk menaced him and his dress shoes. By the time he made it to Yagami’s agency office, he was ten minutes late and sweating under his coat and muffler, absolutely not looking forward to leaving again to walk up to Kamuro Hills and the Majima family office.

“Door’s open!” called Yagami from inside as Higashi knocked.

Higashi’s glasses immediately fogged upon entering, and he scowled. “Why the hell do you have a sauna in here.”

“Well hello to you too.”

Yagami got up and offered a tissue, and Higashi took it, catching that Yagami was only dressed in his white tee again, and very visibly without an undershirt. Carefully cleaning his glasses became an act of survival at this point.

“Heater’s broken - it’s either ice cold or hot as hell, and since I live here, I’d prefer not to freeze to death before I get paid by my clients.”

Yagami walked back to his desk and Higashi expected him to fish out the files, but instead he pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses and started rummaging in the freezer. The prospect of sliding and falling his way up to Kamuro Hills in subzero weather immediately seemed more appealing to Higashi than being stuck having to talk to Yagami alone.

They both broke the silence at once:

“Take a drink with me before you leave -”

“I can’t drink when on an errand -”

They stared at each other, and Yagami blew out a frustrated breath and rubbed at his hair.

“I got given this bottle of Hibiki 21, shit that’s so fancy that I feel guilty just _holding_ the thing, and I would like to share it with someone that I like and think could do with a break. Please, Higashi, just sit with me.”

Sincerity was the most dangerous weapon Yagami had, and for Higashi it was like a mirror image that flickered and revealed a glimpse of the person he was years ago: young and bright and slightly devastating, without the patina of guilt and sorrow. It wasn’t difficult to understand why Kaito would follow Yagami into the mouth of hell, and he supposed he was barely any different.

“Fine. Just one.”

They didn’t speak until they were both finally seated, Higashi after hanging up his overcoat and muffler and having presence of mind to pick the couch closer to the door that absolutely didn’t have Yagami and Kaito having sex on it two weeks ago. The whiskey was astonishing enough that Higashi had to pause, and Yagami grinned at him over the glass.

“Are you actually mad at it for being good?”

“I’m amazed it’s this good despite being kept in a boiler room, yeah.”

“Tch, asshole.”

Yagami just watched him drink, his own glass untouched. 

“Why didn’t you join us that night?”

Higashi stopped dead, and set down his glass before he dropped it. This conversation was long coming, and maybe if he got it over with now, he could take the documents and be in and out of the Majima family office by early evening. Maybe he could even get dinner somewhere quiet, with no one asking for him or about him -

“Higashi.”

He looked up.

“Because if I fell in with you, none of us would ever be free.”

Yagami was silent, and Higashi decided it was best to just keep drinking.

“I let myself get tangled up with Kaito because I never wanted to leave him, and now when I finally do, I can’t get away. No matter what I do I feel like I’m pulled along in his wake, and the thing is, _I still want to be_ , and that’s fucking terrifying.”

Higashi’s eyes burned from the lack of sleep, and he took off his glasses to rub them. Yagami was sitting close enough that his face was blurred just enough to feel safe, and Higashi took another pull of the whiskey.

“Do you remember when I told you to stop inviting the Tojo back in?”

“Yeah.”

“I said that because you never thought twice about helping me with the family. I’m not strong enou -” Higashi stopped himself, started over. “I know I’ll end up asking you again and again, and I know you’ll always come, Kaito in tow. That’s how the Tojo - that’s how _I_ \- end up inside your life and how you can never extract yourself from them again. All because you can’t let go of just one person. Close that book - I’m not worth reopening it.”

He spun the ice around in the glass, embarrassed for talking too much. He took the last drink and set it down with what he hoped conveyed some finality.

“I’ll take the documents and go. The office will wire you the second payment once Nishida goes over your findings. Thank you for the drink.”

Yagami caught his hand against the glass, and Higashi briefly wondered how he ended up here again before Yagami leaned in close, voice almost a whisper.

“Are you talking about the temptation for me or the temptation for _you_?”

“Both.”

“Bullshit. Have _you_ ever stopped and just let yourself have what you want?”

“If I did, it would just lead to disaster,” he replied.

“Have you even _tried_?”

“Do you need to burn yourself to know that a fire is hot?”

“Fuck’s sakes, Higashi.”

There was no heat to what Yagami said, his expression a mix of pity and sadness. Higashi opened his mouth to tell him off but stopped when Yagami’s other hand came to rest on his face, thumb stroking his brow. His eyes fell shut without him meaning to, relishing the feeling, and a small noise escaped his lips before he could bite it back. 

“Kaito said to go slow with you, but that really isn’t what you need, is it?”

A clatter as glasses were pushed aside, and Higashi was pushed against the back of his seat, Yagami having clambered over the coffee table and into his lap. His hands automatically went to Yagami’s waist to catch him when he wobbled, the sofa seat slightly too short to make the position wholly comfortable.

“Yagami ...”

“I think that’s the first time you said my name without sounding like you wanted to punch me,” grinned Yagami before he tilted up Higashi’s face and kissed him.

Higashi made a noise of surprise and the moment his mouth opened Yagami pressed in, tasting of cigarettes. A moan escaped Higashi unbidden, and Yagami led him into a messy tangle of tongues and saliva, his hands seizing against Yagami’s thin shirt. Yagami pulled back enough to catch Higashi’s lower lip with a bite, leaving it wet and stinging before pressing their mouths together again. His hands combed through Higashi’s hair, dislodging the product, one hand brushing his hair forward and the other weaving its fingers into it at the back. Yagami broke the kiss and Higashi couldn’t focus on his face, overwhelmed by the light catching Yagami’s crown of unruly hair in a gold halo.

“Who knew you could be so cute,” murmured Yagami as he played with Higashi’s hair, letting it fall over his forehead.

“Don’t call me that,” he said, turning his head to bite at Yagami’s wrist in warning.

Yagami laughed as he stripped off his shirt and leaned forward to press his forehead against Higashi’s, one arm around his neck and the other pulling Higashi’s hand back to his bare waist. He ground their hips together, and Higashi’s head fell back in a groan from the sensation of Yagami’s hard-on against his, exposing his throat and giving Yagami a target to place a bruising, sucking kiss. He slid one hand up Yagami’s back, feeling the hot skin and the tackiness of sweat, and moved his other hand to squeeze at his ass and press him closer, causing Yagami to moan softly into his neck.

He felt Yagami start to paw at his pants, unbuttoning clumsily, and his mind briefly flashed _shouldn’t we stop_ before he threw all of it away, every single urge of caution and worry to the wind, when he felt Yagami slide a hand inside his fly to squeeze his aching cock. Higashi dropped his head onto Yagami’s shoulder and shuddered when Yagami freed him from his underwear and stroked him slow, twisting his wrist each time he got to the tip, slicked only with precome and sweat.

“Stop, I’m going to -”

Yagami let go, and Higashi only had a moment to catch a trembling breath before Yagami slid off his lap to the floor, settling in between his legs and pressing his lips to his shaft. Higashi bit the inside of his cheek to stop from coming right there, with Yagami running his tongue along a vein and the underside of his cock, flattening his tongue to lap at his balls slowly before dragging his mouth back up to the tip, nipping gently at his foreskin. Without preamble, he gripped the base and took Higashi fully into his mouth, and Higashi threw his head back against the sofa with a gasp, hands tangling into Yagami’s soft hair.

He tried to not thrust up, not to choke him, but the hot wet heat of Yagami’s mouth swallowed him whole, tongue flat against the underside in a searing line each time Yagami moved his head back and forth. Without thinking he pulled Yagami’s head towards himself enough to feel that delicious slide down, Yagami’s throat squeezing around him, hips lifting off the sofa as he thrust into that mouth desperately. Higashi felt one of Yagami’s hands move to brace against his thigh and the other disappeared - he gazed down and a fresh wave of heat rolled over his body when he saw Yagami was stroking himself in time to Higashi’s movements.

After a particularly long, hard thrust that made Yagami moan loud around his cock, the vibrations nearly making Higashi come right there and then, he looked down and caught Yagami’s expression - cheeks hollowed, eyes half-closed, meeting his gaze with almost a challenge. Yagami had him down to the hilt, reddened lips stretched around him, nose buried in hair, and Higashi dizzily wiped Yagami’s sweaty hair off his forehead. Yagami shut his eyes and sucked _hard_ as he pulled away, and Higashi came like a shot, sparks at the corner of his eyes.

Yagami kept swallowing around him as Higashi’s cock pulsed and settled to a low twitch, moving only to lap up stray rivulets of come and licking around the head. Higashi shuddered, oversensitive and the texture of Yagami’s tongue overwhelming, so he gently pushed Yagami off him and leaned down to kiss him instead. The bitter taste of his own come in Yagami’s mouth sent a stir of interest to his dick again, and he broke away before the temptation overrode the lazy haze of pleasure suffusing his senses. Yagami slumped against his leg, resting his head on his thigh, his eyes closed and lips parted slightly.

“Did you …?”

Yagami just lifted his dripping right hand.

“Ah.”

They sat together in silence as they caught their breaths, the heat of the office sapping them of any desire to move and clean up. At some point Higashi’s hand had wandered to Yagami’s face, fingers stroking the wet hair at his temple. Yagami gave a soft hum of approval, smiling into Higashi’s thigh and opening his eyes.

“Can I convince you that this isn’t a disaster?”

Higashi sighed. “A shitshow doesn’t always start with an explosion.”

“Wow, poetry.”

Higashi sat up and tucked himself back in as Yagami rolled to his feet and went to wash his hands at the office sink. Higashi retrieved his glasses and touched his throat, feeling the sting of the hickey Yagami left there, and wondered how he could convincingly wrap his muffler on to keep it covered when he felt a tap of paper on his head.

“The documents. Top file is my assessment, let your guy know to call me direct if they need clarification, text or email will be too confusing.”

Yagami’s voice was still hoarse, and Higashi had to focus on checking over the files to avoid thinking too long about it. As expected, despite how offensively louche Yagami was each time he sat in a meeting with Nishida’s staff, the detective’s notes were meticulously organised and clear, with a full sheet drawn up with multiple solutions and legal repercussions. Higashi had to smirk at a couple choices tabbed with bright sticky notes with handwritten warnings, clearly an attempt to circumvent Majima-specific interpretations. It was a relief, if he was honest, to be able to lean on someone as competent as Yagami was.

“I like watching you go over things - it’s nice to know at least _someone_ is paying attention to all the work I do,” mused Yagami from his perch on his desk.

“Would be a waste of good work otherwise,” Higashi said absently as he verified the invoice numbers.

Yagami sat down beside him, one arm behind Higashi and starting to play with his hair again. They looked over the last piece of document together, ending with Higashi tying the envelope closed and Yagami’s head nestled in the crook of his neck and shoulder.

“Go talk to Kaito,” Yagami murmured.

“Leave it alone,” he replied wearily.

“He misses you.”

“I spoke to him yesterday.”

“On the phone, about _work_. As the guy who just gave you the blowjob of the year, please go talk to the man you’ve held a torch for since forever so he can _also_ get into your pants and take that stick out of your ass.”

Higashi tried to push him off but was caught by the wrist, Yagami’s grip firm. The irritation drained away when he saw Yagami’s serious expression, dark eyes fierce and glittering.

“You’re on the brink of losing something you’ve wanted for _years_ , and I won’t let you do that just because you’ve forgotten how to let yourself have anything. The trap you think you’re in is something you built for yourself.”

They stared at each other, stuck at an impassé, until Yagami cracked a smile.

“Besides, you kissed me while your come was still in my mouth, so you’re in pretty deep already, buddy.”

“I hate everything you choose to be.”

Yagami laughed even as he helped Higashi into his coat, and teased him as he wrapped his muffler up high above his chin to cover his hickey as much as his red face. Yagami was still shirtless and leaning against the doorframe when Higashi looked back from the bottom of the steps, the man’s body a languid silhouette against the golden lighting from his office. He raised his whiskey glass to Higashi in goodbye, turned, and shut the door behind him.

###### 

#### January 9, 2018

Higashi hated feeling Hamura’s smirking eyes on him, feeling that cold twist to his guts each time he braced for a comment that was worse than getting kicked by the captain’s pointed shoes. He pushed the instinctual wish for Kaito’s reassuring arm around his shoulders to the back of his mind - Kaito was gone, and all he had left was building himself a ladder out of his shadow as too many pairs of eyes watched.

“Got forced off Kaito’s teat and now you’re finally making it on your own like a real man, huh Higashi?”

Higashi kept his head bowed, eyes on the briefcase of collections money on the table. His skin prickled with disgust and fear, his tongue bitter with it. Hamura had been relentless with him - goading, taunting, _baiting_ \- never quite believing the face Higashi was growing into. Kaito’s name never left the captain’s lips each time he addressed him, and he could feel the stares of the other men on his back.

The new sunglasses helped hide the twitch in his eye, and he counted what little blessings he had. 

“Sir.”

The captain leaned forward, eyes glittering like a predator, clapping an arm around his neck in a performance of camaraderie but digging his fingers hard into the base of Higashi’s neck. The overwhelming scent of cologne and cigars filled his nose as Hamura spoke, voice rasping hot and lips brushing against the shell of his ear, and it took every ounce of will to not flinch away.

“You used to be so cute, Higashi,” rumbled Hamura. “Now look at ya. A real scary yakuza, eh? Puttin’ those fists to use and feel bones break against those knuckles, tastin’ blood that isn’t your own. Good, eh?”

He didn’t answer.

Higashi walked out of the office with a rare compliment and nodded away the youngest chinpira who tailed him like puppies - it was hard to look at them, their faces adulant and hungry for approval. He was barely any different just a few months ago, and the reminder spun a knife of resent in him. Today was the first time the new boys had seen him fight in earnest, laying out three heavies on his own and having a rare moment of violent confluence, striking the gang leader with three snake-fast kicks to the face in succession before knocking him out with a crunch of his fist. It was astonishing, and he couldn’t shut them up from constantly telling him so.

But when he stood over that prone body, he had expected to hear Kaito’s triumphant shout in his ears, to swell with energy and feel the heady rush of Kaito’s enthusiasm suffusing his body and making his blood sing. In those moments he felt invincible, like the first crack of lightning that heralded Kaito’s thunder, dangerous and otherworldly.

Instead he just shook, breathing hard, adrenaline seeping out the bottoms of his feet and leaving him hollow. He felt displaced from his own body, watching himself give out orders, collect debts, stand in front of Hamura to collect his daily humiliation and hopefully leave with one less bruise each time. If a strong wind had bourne his husk of a body into the air and out of Kamurocho for good, he would have welcomed it.

Out on East Shichifuku, the sky sprinkling down the first snow, Higashi stood still and felt nothing.

Turning left towards the taxi stand, he idly scratched at the healing linework on his shoulder, silently sending a prayer to Kannon to save him from himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuing the grand RGG tradition of secret Koreans! The Tojo activity timeline is absolutely wrong post-Y7 but we don't talk about that.
> 
> Deep thanks and gratitude to [sunspeared](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunspeared/pseuds/sunspeared) for beta reading baby's first completed fanfic and being a fantastic editor. The truest champions are those who beta for fandoms they aren't part of.
> 
> Judge Eyes/Judgment fandom is so small, so please come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/morning_mikan) for not including a Saejima cameo and making up so much shit about Higashi.
> 
> Part 2 will be posted in a week! Thank you for reading this far.


	2. Chapter 2

#### February 20, 2019

Higashi wouldn’t _say_ he was avoiding Kaito, but he didn’t exactly try to not get distracted either. Having been folded into Majima’s main family and not a subsidiary one like the rest of the ex-Matsugane men, Higashi found himself working directly under Nishida, and found some relief in being able to just carry out orders from someone who had common sense and a knack for listening.

He did wonder if working directly under Majima warped his sense of normalcy however - much as Nishida insisted that Majima had calmed down over the years, the number of times Higashi was dispatched to a bizarrely varied series of businesses to negotiate dues and register even more bizarre complaints had him on the left foot more often than not. One highly memorable obasan with orange hair had scolded him for not getting Majima to pick up a customised dress in the agreed upon time, and Higashi had to pass over a strangely heavy package that clinked ominously to an exasperated Nishida who had hurried off immediately.

“The best thing you can do is just go with it,” Nishida had said during Higashi’s third week, sticking his unlit cigarette behind his ear as he hefted up a plush orange mascot head into his arms. “Asking _why_ is the path to madness, and oyaji has enough of that for all of us. Oh, and don’t forget the fish pouch, that part’s his favourite.”

When the snows had melted away to just puddles of gray slush, Higashi found himself in the Hotel District and tidying up the mess of a particularly scuzzy love hotel owner. The man made the error of creating blackmail tapes of Majima’s _other_ business associates in trying to renegotiate his debts, and got a visit for his troubles. It was more “let the boys go nuts destroying electronics” than it was “tidying”, but the message got across quickly enough. Higashi let the juniors finish up as his own job was done, and all that was left to do was call in the report and go home.

He was about to dial the office when someone reached around the corner of a stone gate and dragged him behind it, pinning him in the space between a black van and a brick wall, muffling his shout of outrage with a hand and a hot breath on his ear.

“Shhh, Higashi, they nearly saw you,” hissed Kaito.

Kaito chanced a look back, and Higashi realised he was pressed firmly up against Kaito’s chest, one arm wound around his waist and the other lifting away from his mouth to rest at his chest. He could hear his heart pounding loudly, and idiotically wondered if whoever Kaito was hiding from could hear it down the street.

“They’ve gone inside, we’re good,” exhaled Kaito, still not letting go of Higashi.

“Aniki …”

He felt Kaito bury his nose in his muffler, breathing in slowly.

“Just … just hold on a sec.”

He could see them reflected in the tinted windows of the van they were hidden behind, how Kaito’s eyes were closed but his brow furrowed. Kaito wore no gloves and his hands around Higashi’s waist were red with cold; Higashi tentatively placed his own gloved hand over them and looked away from their reflection in the window.

“Sorry,” Kaito breathed, and finally let him go.

Higashi turned to look at him and felt his throat tighten - the last of Kaito’s injuries had finally healed, and his skin glowed against the grey light of the overcast sky. He also had to contend with the fact that Kaito had taken ahold of his hand, gently squeezing his fingers. He swallowed around the ache in his throat and pulled his hand away. 

“Are you tailing for a case?” Higashi asked, straightening his glasses and keeping his eyes averted.

Kaito shifted on his feet, putting his empty hand into his coat pocket.

“Yeah. We got some Omi guys poppin’ up the last few days, so Ta-bo and I got a job to track where they’re squirrelin’ off to and why. Not from your boss though,” he replied after Higashi’s concerned look. “Some slick fella who runs an old loan office that reopened this year. Big money shit.”

“You know I’ll have to let the family know.”

“Yeah I figured, but give us a day first, okay? It’s a big payday for us if we can give the client an early jump at the info. Your guys will just bust in and crack heads before we get anything out of ‘em.”

Higashi smirked. “That’s a new tune for you.”

“Right? I’m a fuckin’ changed man, I love diplomacy and nuance and shit like that.”

Kaito walked out into the street and Higashi fell in step behind him, his eyes following Kaito’s gaze down the road to an innocuous-looking love hotel.

“Rates are pretty good,” said Kaito thoughtfully, pulling out his phone and sending a text.

“ _Morning Iris_ … I think that’s a subsidiary family’s place. Moriboshi or Gotoh.”

“Yeah?”

“They won’t run the place directly, but they’ll own the land and lease it out. It won’t be cheap either.”

Kaito rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“If room rates are that low in this kind of area, it means their front of house profits aren’t much. They’re probably making money some other way, and if Omi men are staying at it, that might be where it’s coming from,” he glanced at Higashi and gave a wry smile. “Sounds like your boss has more rats to flush out than he thought.”

Kaito tapped his earpiece. “Catch that, Ta-bo?”

“Has he been on a call with you _this entire time_ -”

“Oh yeah, he says ‘hi’ by the way.”

Higashi stared at him.

“Goodbye.”

He turned his heel and walked away, pulling out his phone and dialing the head office. He ignored Kaito scrambling to catch up and grabbing his shoulders, and kept walking down to West Shichifuku and the taxi stand. Kaito mercifully stayed quiet during the call, and in a moment of magnanimity that they didn’t deserve, Higashi did not report in the Omi men Kaito and Yagami were tailing.

“I’ll give you until Wednesday - that’s collections day for the area and I can’t look the other way anymore. Call me once you two confirm anything.”

“Thank you,” said Kaito as he stepped back to let the taxi door close.

Higashi rolled the window down and opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. Kaito waited quietly with his hand braced against the roof of the car, until the silence stretched long enough for the driver to politely cough.

Kaito leaned through the window and his lips brushed past Higashi’s ear, whispering _I miss you_. 

The hair at the nape of Higashi’s neck didn’t settle until he was inside the Kamuro Hills office, finding himself bouncing his leg in nervousness as he tried to forget the heat of Kaito’s breath against his ear. The printouts on his desk swam as his body seemed to struggle between _desperately horny_ and _desperately wanting to jump out the window in embarrassment_ and he didn’t notice Nishida leaning over his desk until he felt a hand on his forehead.

“Higashi, I think you’ve been out in this weather too much. Go home, please. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

It was mortifying that Nishida gave _him_ the apologetic look, but Higashi fled the office gratefully. He tried to regain his composure in the taxi but failed as he thought of nothing but Kaito’s lips on his ear and warm breath on his throat until he was home.

Karma or some lesser deity with a grudge spun another inconvenience for him as his usual hookup cancelled on him, leaving him prepped, dressed, and smoking in frustration in his bedroom, the window cracked open to let out the fumes and leaving him chilled through his clothes. The day was a farce, and he thought about giving up and taking a sleep aid to go to bed early when his phone buzzed.

“Aniki.”

“Higashi, sorry to call. We lost Sugiura for tonight, kid’s sick as a dog. We need a third guy to help us stake out our Kansai friends - can I beg a favour?”

“The two of you have been working just fine before me or Sugiura showed up. Figure it out without me, I’m going to bed.”

“Ta-bo’s already breaking into Morning Iris to plant a wire and I’m at a different love hotel for surveillance. Problem is, I can’t get a suite without a partner, so it’s gotta be you.”

“You didn’t think to go in together?”

“He’s banned from this particular hotel. Long story.”

Higashi pressed the phone into his forehead until he could feel it leave an indent.

“Higashi, _please_.”

He gave up, and grumbled as he put the phone back to his ear.

“Can you wait a half hour.”

“Yeah, Ta-bo’s sorta, uh, navigating the iced over roofs. He’s gonna be a while.”

“Fuck’s sake. See you in thirty.”

Higashi got there in twenty, benefitting from a lucky vacant taxi and the driver being delighted to show off how well he could navigate the least snow- and slush-affected side roads. He found Kaito waiting in front of an unremarkable looking love hotel, smoking idly under the streetlamp with a gym bag at his feet and stealing glances at Morning Iris next door. He was unbearably handsome under the lamplight, and Higashi had to take a deep breath before approaching.

“Let’s go in before you can look any more obvious,” murmured Higashi as he swept past into the hotel lobby, keeping his muffler up high to obscure his face.

Higashi hovered discreetly in the separated waiting area as Kaito took care of check-in, politely ignoring the presence of another nervy couple that decided to let them ahead. Kaito signalled the fourth floor and Higashi headed to the elevator ahead of him, neither of them saying anything until they were safely in the room and Kaito had secured the locks.

“Huh, not bad at all,” Kaito said as he toed off his shoes and joined Higashi in the room.

The suite was decently roomy and pleasantly decorated: wood panelling for the floor and white faux-stonework for the walls, accented with a polished wood coffee table and a cream-coloured loveseat. A tasteful minimalist chandelier with tulip-shaped sconces lit the room in a soft yellow light, and the bed was cozy-looking and unremarkable, save for the spray of rose petals embroidered on the pillows. Higashi’s hands twitched to sweep them off into the garbage.

“Ah, there’s our boy now,” Kaito grinned as he pointed out the window.

Higashi squinted out into the night, and saw a slim figure in black drop from an eave onto a tiny balcony with tinted glass doors and begin to pick at the lock. The door gave, and both Kaito and Higashi let out a breath as Yagami slipped out of sight. They both crowded to the window to keep an eye on the balcony and the alley below, and didn’t move away until Yagami slipped back out and shimmied up the eaves again and out of sight.

“Where’s he off to now?” Higashi asked as he helped unload Kaito’s supply bag and started to fuss with a telephoto lens.

“Oh, he’s just gonna come over,” Kaito said absently as he plugged in his phone and unboxed two sets of earpieces.

“What?”

A series of taps drew their attention to the window, and Higashi nearly jumped when he saw Yagami suspended upside down and waving. Kaito pulled open the window and Yagami swung himself in, dressed in pure black and head fully covered with a ski mask. Yagami yanked the mask off and sneezed - he had a window of red skin from where the mask cutout sat over his eyes and his normally buoyant hair was plastered down against his head with sweat.

Yagami looked like a mess, and he was beautiful.

“Ugh, it’s _so fucking cold_ ,” Yagami groused, stripping off his damp clothes in the middle of the room. “I’m taking a bath, you guys can test the transmission signal.”

Yagami stomped off to the bathroom in just his underwear, and Higashi struggled to stop following the ripple of muscles in his legs as he walked. He came to his senses when he heard Yagami whistle, and the detective popped his head back out from behind the door.

“Uh, so, the bath is huge? I mean, I know _why_ , but can we afford this?”

“Don’t worry, I got the overnight rate. Akiyama said we can bill him for incidentals once we’re done,” said Kaito absently as he fiddled with the transmission earpiece.

“Does that include the pile of roses at the bottom of the tub and the pink candles everywhere, because I don’t think it does.”

“Are the roses real?”

“Yeah.”

Kaito winced. “Uh, whoops?”

“Kaito, god damn it,” groused Yagami as he shut the door and started to run the water.

Higashi watched Kaito finish setting up the wiretap to his satisfaction, and stood up to leave.

“I think you got this, I’ll get going.”

“Uh, everything’s automated - if you leave by yourself the staff will notice on the security cameras and kick us out, and we’ll be fucked,” Kaito mumbled, at least with the decency to look guilty.

“So … I’m stuck here with you both. ‘Til morning.”

“We didn’t trick you or nothin’ - call the kid and listen to him cough up a lung if you gotta.”

Higashi pinched the bridge of his nose. “Doesn’t that mean you forgot to check how this hotel, which you’re using as a surveillance hideout, actually worked?”

“I got - things were - man, I’ve been dealing with shit,” blustered Kaito, crossing his arms defensively.

Higashi slumped onto the bed and his leg started to bounce, tension thrumming his body. The duvet was soft and thick, and this close to the pillows he could smell that they were perfumed. He tried very hard to not think about how the bed was large enough for three.

“We have any idea when the Omi men return?” he asked.

“Probably sometime in the early morning, it’s only 9PM now.”

“Shit.”

Higashi got up and paced, digging through his pockets until he found his cigarettes, lighting one as he cracked open the window and stared out of it towards the empty balcony of the Omi suite. It was dark enough that the room was reflecting into the window, and he watched Kaito’s face struggle before he stood to come up behind Higashi. Large hands tentatively sat at his waist, and he felt Kaito lean his head against his. 

“Do you hate it that much?” Kaito asked, his voice soft.

Higashi said nothing, watching the ember from his cigarette brighten and fade in the window as he took another drag, exhaling slowly, the smoke hiding too briefly the way Kaito was watching him in the reflection. The broad chest at his back was warm. Higashi’s anxious thrumming eased as the nicotine settled his nerves if not the twist in his chest, and he let himself lean back. He could see in the window that Kaito had closed his eyes and Higashi felt his breath heavy on his neck, slow and quiet.

They stood in silence until Higashi finished his cigarette, stubbing it out in the ashtray on the nightstand. He turned to face Kaito but avoided his eyes, looking at his shirt instead - deep blue silk, patterned with white and yellow camellias. He ran his fingers over the button seam, the material sleek to the touch.

“It’s worse than your orange one,” Higashi mumbled.

“Too bad,” Kaito laughed, and Higashi let Kaito’s hands wander to his face and shirt collar, catching one to press his mouth to the palm as Kaito’s other hand slowly unbuttoned him. His brow furrowed and breath stuttered when he felt Kaito’s hand slip into his shirt, his skin growing hot as he felt it slide down his chest, biting the thumb of the hand he held to his face when Kaito brushed against his nipple.

“Toru, I want to see you.”

The last of his resolve was shot through, and he didn’t care to piece it together anymore.

Higashi gently let go of Kaito’s hand to step away and turned his back to him. Wordlessly, he took off his suit jacket and draped it over the back of the loveseat, methodically undoing the rest of the buttons of his shirt and pushing off his belt, slacks, and underwear in one movement. He stepped out of his socks in the puddle of his clothes, pulled the cufflinks free from his shirtsleeves, and dropped everything on the floor. The glasses came off last, set carefully on the table, and Higashi breathed deep.

Skin fully exposed to the air, he shivered slightly and the hairs on his arms prickled from the change in heat. He focused on his bare feet sunk into the deep pile of the shag rug, and somewhat self-consciously scratched at the newly healed peonies at his shoulders, the empty linework shiny and catching the light.

Higashi’s breath caught as he felt Kaito’s hand on his back, moving down the column of his spine and following the unfilled tattoo along his muscles. Kaito’s fingers traced the lines of Kannon’s flowing robes to the snarling lesser dragon she rode serenely, following its tail past Higashi’s hips, to the top of his ass and down his right thigh. A reverent kiss was placed on where the goddess’s brow sat against his skin.

“What’s she saving you from?” murmured Kaito.

Higashi finally turned, slid his hands under Kaito’s ears and around the back of his head and pulled him down into a kiss. He lingered on Kaito’s lips, full and plush and pliant, and when Kaito’s tongue gently brushed against his own, he parted them with a soft sigh. Hot palms settled on Higashi’s hips before sliding around to the small of his back, pulling him in closer, fingers digging into his skin and stroking invisible lines against his muscles. 

Kaito guided him towards the bed, hands now firmly squeezing at Higashi’s ass and Higashi starting to pull at Kaito’s shirt from his trousers. They fumbled clumsily until they hit the bed, falling onto it in a tangle, Kaito’s belt buckle clattering loudly as Higashi finally worked it free. His hands pushed away the silk shirt and spread his fingers along the expanse of muscle of Kaito’s chest, and Higashi dropped his head to press a line of kisses down his sternum.

He slid his body down Kaito’s bare torso, skin against skin, savoring the sensation of Kaito’s breath stuttering beneath him and the feeling of his hard cock dragging along the fabric of Kaito’s trousers. He was leaving a mess, and the thought of Kaito having to walk the city with his clothes stained with his precome sent a hot jolt through his body. He undid Kaito’s zip and yanked everything down at once, just enough to clear Kaito’s hips.

The job was left unfinished because Higashi had freed Kaito’s cock, large and heavy and leaking, and he pressed his nose and mouth to it with desperation. Kaito groaned and sank a hand into Higashi’s hair and gripped tightly, the sharp pain causing Higashi to gasp and grind his hips into the bed. Kaito’s grip eased and Higashi took the moment to move down Kaito’s length, tongue leaving a wet trail before he came back up, impatient, gripping the base and kissing at the head with lips and tongue before taking it in his mouth whole.

Kaito thrust up into Higashi’s mouth immediately with a low growl, and he was neither surprised or unprepared - he used his arms to press down on Kaito’s hips to keep him still. He breathed deep through his nose as he slowly eased himself back and forth along Kaito’s length, taking him in deeper each time until he was able to bury his nose in Kaito’s hair. His eyes watered and Kaito gripped his hair too hard again, and Higashi was so hard he was starting to hurt.

He let Kaito thrust slow into his throat, pinning him again each time he lost control and moved too fast and made Higashi choke. He savoured the heavy taste of Kaito’s skin against his tongue - salt-bitter with come and sweat and _Kaito_ \- and moved up again to curl his tongue around the head when he heard the bathroom door slide open.

“Oh good, you started.”

Higashi looked over with surprise, letting Kaito’s dick fall from his mouth when he noticed Yagami was naked and golden, hair wet and smoothed back. He had that smile on his face, smug and infuriating and _hungry_ , and Higashi had to look away and shudder from the gravity of his position.

“Kaito, you can’t make him do everything, c’mon,” Yagami chided airily, meandering over to the bedside table to pull open the drawer and throw over a miniature bottle of lube and a pair of condoms.

“We … we were just havin’ a little reunion,” Kaito panted, pushing himself up against the pillows and letting Higashi sit up on his heels.

“Mm, I’m sure,” Yagami purred, climbing onto the bed and yanking the rest of Kaito’s clothes off and dropping them to one side. He came up behind Higashi and slotted himself at his back, body radiating heat from the bath, hands wandering across his chest and thighs. Higashi let out a soft breath when he felt Yagami rest his head on his shoulder, nuzzling at his ear.

“Sit up high on him and let me take care of the rest,” breathed Yagami in his ear, one hand at Higashi’s waist and the other picking up the lube.

Higashi nodded, mute with want, and slid forward onto Kaito. He bracketed Kaito’s head between his arms as he bent his knees and settled his hips on him, feeling the shape of Kaito’s cock pressed against his own. Kaito let out a pleased hum as his hands stroked down Higashi’s sides, grinning when Higashi tried to choke down a high gasp as Yagami’s slick fingers slowly circled at his entrance.

A hand ( _Kaito’s? Yagami’s?_ ) slowly started stroking Higashi and he slumped forward, forehead falling to the pillow beside Kaito’s head, panting in his ear. Higashi let out a disgraceful cry when he felt the first finger, and he was spared from making more when Kaito grabbed his face and kissed him fiercely. Clumsily, then steadily, they moved in rhythm with Higashi rocking back onto Yagami’s fingers and sliding slow against Kaito, until Yagami crooked his fingers in a way that caused a loud, shaky moan to punch out of Higashi’s lungs.

“ _Yagami_ ,” hissed Higashi.

“Easy, easy -”

Higashi turned and swatted at Yagami’s hands, snatching the lube and pulling away, feeling the warm huff of Yagami’s amusement on his back as the fingers slipped out. He squeezed out a handful of lube and coated Kaito messily, impatiently lining up the head of Kaito’s cock to push at his entrance. 

“Hey, don’t you need a co -”

“No, I don’t,” gasped Higashi as he seated himself fully in one slow movement, bare and reckless and hurting and finally, _finally_.

“ _Holy shit_ ,” growled Kaito as he threw his head back on the pillow, exposing the arc of his throat for Higashi to bite at and leave behind red bruises. He worked at Kaito’s neck as he adjusted to his size, the pain slowly fading away under the pleasure suffusing his body in waves, clenching in rhythm when he felt Yagami’s fingers again exploring the point where Higashi and Kaito’s bodies joined.

“Don’t get any ideas,” grunted Higashi, and Yagami laughed into his shoulder, kissing along his nape and pressing his fingers into his nipples, making Higashi jerk suddenly and cause Kaito to groan and thump his head against the wall.

Higashi leaned forward and slid his hands up Kaito’s chest, bracing with his hands as he shut his eyes and slowly lifted his hips before coming down again, sliding himself along Kaito’s cock. He rode Kaito in earnest, foreheads pressed together and the clap of their hips chorused with loud groans. Higashi suddenly felt Kaito’s hands move from his waist to grab his thighs, and hissed when Kaito seized the pace and began to pump his hips up, mouth falling open into high, shaking cries as Kaito pulled him into an angle where each thrust hit him almost too perfectly.

“ _Ah, aniki …!_ ”

His head tipped back and he felt it rest against Yagami’s shoulder, his chest hot against Higashi’s back, one hand reaching around to pinch a nipple between two fingers and the other moving to stroke Higashi in time to Kaito’s thrusts. It was too much, and Higashi tried to reach behind to grab at Yagami’s hair, to slow him down, but instead he felt teeth against his neck and a brutal squeeze to the base of his own dick as Kaito still rocked into him. 

“ _Ah, ah - please, ple - ah ..!_ ”

“What do you want?” whispered Yagami in his ear.

Dizzy, sweating, overwhelmed, and now annoyed, Higashi could only snarl: _Everything_.

Yagami let go, and with Kaito’s next thrust Higashi came _hard_ , back arched like a bow in Yagami’s arms and striping his own stomach, sight blinded and a pitched cry ripped from his throat. He clenched around Kaito as each pulse seized his body, one hand gripping the sheets and the other still tangled in Yagami’s hair, his gasps for air shaking as Kaito fucked him through his orgasm, erratic and frenzied. He heard Kaito come with a shout, giving a final thrust that rocked him further into Yagami, and then felt the telltale heat of leaking come as Kaito twitched inside him.

They lay in breathless silence: Kaito having thrown his arm over his eyes and his chest heaving, Higashi lying in Yagami’s arms and floating on the pleasurable thrum along his skin. Through his warm haze he had enough presence of mind to turn his head to Yagami and ask _what about you_ , but was met with a soft kiss instead, the question licked away from his tongue.

“Go get cleaned up and come back,” said Yagami when they broke apart, gently nudging Higashi by the shoulders.

Too satiated to bother grumbling, Higashi lifted himself up and let Kaito slip out of him, ignoring Yagami groping at his ass with a whistle and Kaito snickering as he stumbled into the bathroom.

It was as ridiculously opulent as Yagami said, with deep scarlet walls and burnished gold crown mouldings. The sink and cabinets were surfaced with faux marble, their fixtures polished brass and gleaming in the low light, the effect entirely nonsensical compared to the more restrained main room. The massive bathtub Yagami had complained about occupied nearly the whole floor, polished bright gold with a soggy morass of soap and waterlogged roses sat at the drain, the perfume pungent and sickly.

Higashi felt absurd standing there with come slowly dribbling down his leg, and cleaned himself up at speed so he didn’t need to think about the mess congealing in the tub.

He took out a spare towel with him, and was unsurprised to find Kaito and Yagami in a similar position as they were a few weeks ago: Yagami seated at the foot of the bed with Kaito on his knees on the floor, his head buried between Yagami’s legs. Higashi swallowed as the familiar scene unravelled in front of him, with Yagami’s eyes half-closed and lips parted, his hand stroking through Kaito’s short hair.

“Toru,” called Yagami, the brazenness both sending a flicker of annoyance to Higashi’s head and a frisson of interest to his dick. “Come here.”

Higashi tossed the towel to one side and went around them instead, settling onto the bed behind Yagami. He slid both his hands along the man’s throat, one ending with two fingers hooked into Yagami’s open mouth and the other circling around his throat. Yagami started to run his tongue over the fingers as Higashi tilted his head back, moaning as Higashi growled into his ear: _you don’t get to tease me anymore_.

Higashi squeezed Yagami’s throat once, and watched as Yagami came with a gasp into Kaito’s mouth, eyes wide and lips shaped in an “O” of surprise.

Yagami shut his eyes and panted, Higashi’s hand falling from his mouth, burying his face awkwardly into Higashi’s neck. Higashi could feel him tremble, and feeling a touch guilty, he moved to stroke gently at Yagami’s throat, settling at the base of his neck and softly rubbing his thumb in slow circles. He watched Kaito’s mouth and throat work the last of Yagami’s orgasm, eliciting a last sigh when he slid off with a wet pop.

“Shit, I had fantasies about this,” grinned Kaito with abysmal levels of smugness.

“Could have said something sooner,” Yagami said hoarsely, weakly kicking at Kaito.

“He woulda run away faster than he has already,” said Kaito as he rolled into the bed beside them, somehow not caring at all about wet spots. He made a face and shoved a hand beneath him, pulling out the emptied bottle of lube and tossing it over the bed.

“I will walk out of this fucking hotel room -” Higashi started before Yagami laughed and kissed his chin. He scowled but let Yagami start playing with his hair, irritation draining out of him as warm fingers gently traced his hairline.

Kaito was the first to pass out, chin tucked on top of Yagami’s head and an arm swung across his waist. Higashi sleepily wondered how much weight Yagami lost if he was thin enough that Higashi could feel Kaito’s hand as well, and turned to face them both. His eyes drooped closed as Yagami kept stroking the hair at his temple, and he fell asleep with the ghost of a fingertip tracing the bow of his lips.

###### 

#### 2:44 AM

He woke slowly, hearing nothing but the warm breathing against his face. Higashi shifted and found Yagami’s sleeping face in front of his own, an arm around his waist and legs wrapped together; Yagami had somehow tangled himself into Higashi during sleep, and when Higashi moved, those limbs just curled in tighter. 

Higashi felt a little tug of pity, noting the dark circles under Yagami’s eyes and the slight furrow between his brows. Sleep probably came no easier to him than it did Higashi, and maybe visited even a little less than that. He reached out with a gentle hand to massage the frown smooth, thumb slowly stroking the skin until there was a quiet sigh and Yagami’s expression was peaceful. He made to touch Yagami’s hair, now soft and cowlicked, but he brought his hand back instead and let the man sleep.

A metallic click made Higashi turn over, finding Kaito sitting on the floor and lighting a cigarette, still undressed save for his underwear. Moonlight and stray glows from street signs illuminated Kaito’s profile, his outline watching the window with a bright attentiveness. He had the transmission earpiece in and one hand was idly twirling a pen, stopping occasionally to scribble a note before spinning again. 

Not wanting to disturb him and not quite wanting to pull away from Yagami’s warm body just yet, Higashi watched Kaito work until he pulled off the earpiece and stretched.

“How long have you been awake?” whispered Higashi.

Kaito’s blinked in surprise before grinning, continuing his stretch far enough to gently pop his back.

“Not too long. Dozed a bit and made Ta-bo go back to sleep so I could take over. Our pals got in just an hour ago and said some fun stuff before turning in for the night. They’re leavin’ first thing for their 9AM checkout.”

He yawned and worked his neck as Higashi slowly rose out of bed, pulling the sheets back over Yagami who just mumbled and turned over, deep asleep. Higashi made his way to his clothes, retrieving his underwear and cigarettes, and cracked open the minifridge to scrutinise the hotel’s scant complimentary drinks choices.

“Oh! I forgot about those, thanks,” said Kaito as Higashi dropped a small bottle into his hand.

Higashi only grunted, grabbing the ashtray and sitting himself beside Kaito to watch the suite across their building. He listened to Kaito twist the plastic cap off the Pocari and down the thing at once, making a satisfied noise. Higashi put a cigarette to his lips and was surprised by Kaito’s hand offering the flame of the lighter, and leaned forward to accept with his ears slightly heating. They sat in peaceable silence for a time, listening only to the distant noises of Kamurocho traffic.

“Hadn’t heard from you in nearly a week, gotta say you had me worried,” Kaito said, gaze still on the window. “You doing all right?”

Higashi took a long drag before answering, unsure where to start or how truthful to be.

“Been busy. I’m the new favourite errand boy for Majima-no-oyaji, and I’m still getting used to how their family runs. Didn’t have time for much else.”

Kaito snorted and gave him a reproachful look. “You ain’t been anyone’s errand boy for a good while now.”

Higashi laughed, maybe the first time in weeks. The sound was high and slightly delirious, and he wheezed as he tried to stay quiet and not wake Yagami. His shoulders shook with what started as mirth but maybe was closer to just simple exhaustion.

“Shit, that’s right, isn’t it? Fuck, how did I ...” he mumbled, taking another heavy drag and feeling unmoored. He worked at the main office of the largest family of the Tojo now, brushing shoulders nearly every day with a legendary figurehead of the clan, his days going at a pace that made even his time with Hamura feel meandering and circular. How the weight of his position didn’t strike him until _now_ ...

He felt Kaito place his large hand on the back of his neck and Higashi relaxed, feeling the tension that seized his shoulders release like water down his back. He sighed and bowed his head, letting himself feel Kaito’s hand move from his neck to his hair, gently stroking at his nape.

“Y’see? That’s what I mean,” said Kaito, slowly breathing out a plume of smoke. “You got all these big jobs and act like you got put up to it instead of it being shit you worked up to on your own. You really think Majima scouted you for his head office for jokes? Guy’s a lunatic but he ain’t stupid.”

Higashi felt his face warm. “Nishida-no-aniki’s got some thoughts about the last part,” he said, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“Then at least he’s smarter than you, since he’s still captain and ain’t said shit that’ll leave him dead in the batting centre,” smirked Kaito.

Higashi coughed a laugh and let himself get pulled into Kaito, resting his head on the broad muscle between neck and shoulder. He was weak enough to admit that he wanted this moment to stretch forever: to lie in still silence against the solid bulwark of Kaito’s frame. The weight of that desire sat heavy in his heart, unmoveable.

A distant taxi honked its horn, and a light blinked on in a suite window to the far left of their view. Higashi watched the shadows move as he finished his cigarette, wondering what kind of people they were.

“Why do you do it?” Higashi asked suddenly.

“Huh?”

“Me, Yagami. Not exactly the easiest options. Why bother?”

Kaito tsked and put out his cigarette in the tray. Higashi gave a muffled yelp as he was maneuvered into Kaito’s lap, Kaito arranging his limbs to his satisfaction and having them face each other. His own hands he moved to Higashi’s torso, gently stroking his sides before settling at his waist. Higashi swallowed when their gaze met, the lights cast from outside catching on Kaito’s eyes and making them shine bright. Kaito grins, rakish and glowing.

“Complicated guys like you and Ta-bo - you need me around to keep you from living inside your own heads and dyin’ of misery from just listening to yourselves all day,” Kaito said, thumbs gently rubbing Higashi’s skin. “Even then it’s been tough, y’know? Neither of you like to listen to me until I’m literally punchin’ you open so the words can get in.”

“Does it work?”

Kaito’s eyes glimmered. “Fifty-fifty odds. I take what I can get ‘cause I like you so much.”

Higashi looked away, a little abashed, and Kaito just did his low rumbling laugh. He tipped his head forward, nose gently nuzzling along Higashi’s cheek, lips placing a trail of small kisses to his mouth. Higashi meets him with his own kiss, his hands cupping the back of Kaito’s head, the hands at his waist sliding around to his back. They go slow, urged by neither hunger or desperation, simply feeling skin, muscle, presence.

“Toru,” Kaito breathed when he broke away. “If I ask, will you say ‘no’ again?”

Higashi leaned his forehead against Kaito’s, the familiar gesture grounding even as he failed to meet Kaito’s eyes and his throat tightened.

“I can’t say this isn’t something I’ve wanted,” he started. “But I still can’t tell you if it’s a good idea or not.”

He looks at Kaito, and tries to smile an apology.

“Just … just give me some time.”

He must have failed, because Kaito closes his eyes with a frown and pulls him in close, a small _whuff_ of air escaping Higashi’s lips as his chest is pressed hard to Kaito’s, his chin settling over Kaito’s shoulder. Kaito’s arms are tightly wound around his back, and Higashi aches from the pressure of Kaito’s hold and from in his chest. In this moment, Higashi feels the inevitability resulting from his choices: a bitter path set in motion the moment he decided the clan’s badge was worth less than Kaito’s frosted breath in winter.

He wraps his arms around Kaito’s shoulders and buries his face into his neck.

 _I love you_ , he mouths into Kaito’s skin, the weight of his heart heavy against his ribs.

Kaito says nothing and just holds him tightly. Higashi doesn’t know if he heard and thanks Kannon for the silence, for sparing Higashi from knowing, his heart too exhausted to bear further revelations tonight.

In time, they both stand and move back to bed. Higashi was amused to find Kaito situating himself in the middle, tucking both the still-sleeping Yagami and now Higashi against either side of him. He makes a noise like a pleased cat, and Higashi buries a smirk into the back of his hand before turning towards Kaito, head pillowed on his broad arm.

“Should I stop calling you ‘aniki’,” he whispers.

“Do whatever you like. Just happy to hear you call for me,” Kaito whispers back.

Higashi lies in the dark, ears warm, listening to Kaito’s breath settle as he falls into easy sleep. Yagami’s head slowly rises and falls with Kaito’s chest, lashes slightly fluttering, and Higashi reaches over to brush away a lock of hair tickling against his eyes. His hand lingers, lightly tracing along the curve of Yagami’s cheek, lifting his hand away when his fingertips brush his bottom lip. Something like fondness blooms in him, and he finds he doesn’t begrudge it.

He thinks: they are a tangled knot, the three of them. Their threads too strong to be cut, but too tightly wound to be pulled apart with simple force of will. He wonders if it were possible to become something else, a winding complex pattern in the shape of a blessing: a maedeup knot hanging from his sister’s dress or the mizuhiki charm secreted in his breast pocket. He comes up with no answer, and lets the uncertainty sit inside him beside a small hope.

Higashi listens to the hotel taxis sluice through the wet streets outside and falls asleep, dreaming of nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feels bad, but in a nice way.
> 
> [Gallant's "Ology" album](https://open.spotify.com/album/4VZh7EI0gjL2FkLWNBVIWf) was the primary background music for this fic, with [Bone+Tissue's](https://open.spotify.com/album/4VZh7EI0gjL2FkLWNBVIWf?highlight=spotify:track:1THUV2tiTLxNNbJwC8m4pE) heightened drama and agony sorta being the emotional basis for this. I love tropes, and you shall have them with the spines in.
> 
> Continued thanks to [sunspeared](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunspeared/pseuds/sunspeared) for the beta, and I shall plague her doorstep no more.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Direct all complaints to [my twitter](https://twitter.com/morning_mikan).


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